Goodbye bitterness.

Hi. I hope you guys are well and feeling loved. Which possibly at times requires a deeper seeking, to find the love of God that is already there. At times, when things are possibly muddy, we search. For God. While he is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, the world is changing. And God is is the ultimate, highest, deepest, loveliest, fullest, authentic creative.

Lately much has shifted in my heart, by the grace and work of God, and a facebook group I’m following, called the Joy Portal! Don’t underestimate the power of social media, the truth, and higher council!

I feel like I’ve been through quite a windy road trip while writing this. So buckle up, and have your coffee too. We are crossing over. But first we must shake some things off.

Last post I mentioned going into more depth on a lesson I had in Bitterness. Yay.

What I’m pondering now is maybe, just maybe next post I’ll talk about favor, and being blessed financially, having a successful business, and perhaps it’ll come true…I do believe in the power of our words. Now don’t get me wrong, we are blessed. Despite all the battles faced, there’s been huge blessings and doors that have began to open—doors only God could open. Receive that in your heart if desired. Faith is faith!!!

And sometimes we fill the inbetweens with every emoji under the sun.

Why not dive deep into process, to truly overcome whatever it is that needs overcoming…or to unravel whatever needs to unravel. Covering emotions under the rug eventually turns into dust bunnies or errupts. So God help us release in assertive ways, or in a dance, whatever pure way it calls for.

Going higher, means going deeper underground—and that is where gold is found. What I am still learning is that faith, following visions, planting and watering seeds gives hope for the future. Seeds will grow. What seeds are we planting.

Part of my purpose of sharing is to bring light, and to pour out the inner gold that I have sweated, cried, prayed, and rested to find. That you may have freedom in such a way too, if desired. Or to simply be freed up to open up, and not hold it all in. Like releasing an untied balloon, and the sheer joy that can bring.

So anyway, some weeks ago, God had given me a story only he could write— or the enemy did, but God allowed it. It was a test I didn’t sign up for. And since then, a whole nother form of bitterness came in. Like the sly fox, that sped toward my car, on my way to Grandma’s house. I feel I failed that one. But seriously, shame gone.

We fail up, learn the lesson, and move on. I’m hyper aware of this lately, because it’s something I am overcoming again. Although this time, I can feel the shame come on so strong that I immediately recognize it. And I can’t hold it. A dance, or some tearing up some paper (and recycling it) or shouting praises are great remedies. We all need natural remedies for combat. Might as well have fun with it. It’s for freedom. But don’t forget to cry.

Life reminds me so much of the cartoon Adventure Time. We are constantly taking tests, to arise to the next level.

One fine afternoon I took my car out to activate the new insurance external device. As I reversed back in my parents long driveway, I found myself in a Spirit lead activation to remove the pain of the past. I shouted my good byes, and had a blast!!! Switched gears and drove forward. I encourage such a spiritual activation. And Prophetic declarations that you can get your groove on with. With God included. Sure you can shout at him, just absolutely know how much He loves you, and wants to have all the conversations with you.

But also know that, there’s an enemy.

So nearly within an hour of getting home, one of my best friends from a past training school calls. I am sooooo excited!

And I hear her, and I agree, and I am fullhearted in, to support her. Yeah, that teacher was not a good one. Thank God we all got out.


I’m not gonna name names or specifics here. I was about to do a write up when…Suddenly I couldn’t sleep the next three nights in a row. And the morning that I was going to press send, as I was meditating on scripture preparing my heart, the pages turned on their own and my eyes went straight to this part.

You see, the weeks leading up to this point, I had been asking God, what’s going on, why has gunkiness been happening. I’ve been following His path to my knowledge and planting seeds, and I could not understand the hard times, again. Challenges aside from the worlds latest challenges. The last many years were incredibly challenging for me…haven’t I graduated I thought! (I understand life is not always easy—especially lately for many, but I just was truly over it, and I’ve wondered, is there something I could do differently, because I’ve seen better, and I am believing for that.)

We are in a turning point, world changing time now. And I live here. We all live here now. And we are also moving into the future. So wave that light and the old is gone!

I can say now, I’m grateful for the challenges because they have ultimately changed me for the better. But, it never hurts to ask God questions.

And thus he taught me a secret about bitterness. Within the same week I had also just listened to a message from Kris Valotton, where the biggest thing I received from this message, was that when we let bitterness build, the enemy has an invitation. Which is what the message meant to me in the image above. It’s all written. And I’m gonna say it in love—‘THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.’ because that line has been going off in my ears lately.

So God answered my why. And I knew removing bitterness was the answer, because prior to it, I was shaken up to the point of not sleeping. I had began experiencing more financial challenges, and an injury that put me on the bed for nearly two weeks. Nevertheless I continued planting seeds. God knows the day my financial side of things will change for the better. With God’s promises and my latest dreams, I know it will change for the better.

We must believe it, which perhaps could take some time of unraveling old belief systems of doubt, shame, poverty mindsets, boxed mindsets, and etc. But don’t expect everyone else to be on the same page. I was processing a door that had recently closed, with the inner questions of how is this gonna work out, and what am I going to do…and the Holy Spirit spoke these words to me:

“Sometimes you have no other choice but to believe you can.”

So let’s go with the light. And wave good bye to carrying the weight of the past, or of others!!! That’s what Christ died for. Give it to him, and go as deep as needed to not carry shame. This is a breakthrough point for me. And I bless whomever needs that breakthrough with freedom!!!!! Everything in me that doesn’t bring life can die. All the shame, and pain, the old, gone. And true flowers of Christ’s power may rise. Whenever something painful I’ve experienced comes to mind, I’m seeing a picture of it dying in me and out of me, completely dissolving, and then powerful new fresh life grows through me. Listen to graves into gardens

Or whatever worship song is gonna hit home, because worshipping God aligns us to visions and solutions. And then we are filled with light and love.

I find that the most powerful people live by love and actions, not just words. Perhaps this takes practice for us all in some way, even if it’s loving others who don’t listen, who’ve perhaps offended us many times, who seem to not come from the same place. Bless your enemies have been singing in my ears. I suppose to keep the love, don’t let it sit, release it and find the gold buried beneath! And still, boundaries. Like we are at life school, and we still gotta sharpen our pencil for great purposes.

Anyway, so much had stopped working, including my computer…but there’s still hope. While I wanted to put much more up in commerce shops, and share here the signs we made, that I spoke of in the last post…I’ve had to let it go. Blow up the balloon, and release.

I had experienced so many triggers in the past month, perhaps because of the state of the world. I’ve also really been blessed to have trauma healing, and therapy the last four years. But many triggers had resurfaced. And since I now know this truth, it makes sense why such challenges would come on so strong. It’s like a sling shot, and boom. Repeat. We hit the target, and pull back again. Hit or miss the target, and pull back. Hit the target, and so on, as our hearts, minds, and souls are being aligned with an army. Whose army are we in.

I didn’t pull the trigger on writing a review about the teach. I called my dear friend with a heart for justice, and I prayed for her and the whole situation personally, and surrendered it all to God, with a full knowing that He fights our battles.

For a moment I thought I’d might lose my friends involved, but my good friend was supportive and reassured me she still loved me reguardless. Unconditional love. Wow, now that is refreshing.

Be refreshed, and let God fight the battle. We do our part, and he fights the battle. We don’t always know the when we’ll get an answer or what it will be. But trust and faith in God, and praying, is the path to real gold. Discernment will help us decide on what the action to take is. Sometimes it is in the front lines. And sometimes it’s in the imbetweens. Often I find the answer through the gift of rest. And always, the thankfulness factor plays a huge role in our lives and those around us.

It’s not what we have, it’s who we have around us. If you have no one, and or if there’s been friction, there are some phenomenal online leaders out there, such as the Joy Portal crew from Global Celebration! They are imparting so much community and joy, I feel more hope then I have throughout the whole pandemic! And let’s say it, pandemic be gone!!!!!!! God is bigger than it all. God is a compassionate God. We get to follow.

Love. It is a love that only God can fill. I thank God for highlighting the narrow and yet wide, in awe and wonder path for us all. And for teaching us how we don’t want to be, which teaches us how to be, if we let it.

And can we just laugh the crap out. Oops, I just wrote that.

Blessings to you on your journey, I am an artist that’s experienced a lot of emotions lately, and I can’t imagine what you have gone through. Know that you are the only you, that it’s ok to be different, and that God loves you unconditionally, and that He will highlight the path that will bring you to a place of belonging. Because you belong. You belong. You belong. And quite possibly maybe, you are the one to pave the way. Maybe, quite possibly it’s starts with you! Integrity, wisdom, and purity are in true belonging. Wouldn’t you agree that the world needs to change. Now is the time we make a better world for our children and all the generations to come. It starts with ourselves. No matter our circumstances. Plant the seeds, and they will grow. Follow the path beside still waters no matter how the circumstance of the waters may be.

Much love on your journey! And extra blessings and peace for all who are transitioning back into school! Talk about a time to discern. Follow the path of peace, it may not be easy, but if there’s peace, than it’s golden. Blessings to you all, the parents, caregivers, teachers, and school people.

With Love,

B e t h a n y

‘We wrestle not against flesh and blood!’ Good reminder that can help so much with discernment, and getting rid of bitterness. Ephesians 6:12

‘Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. … Forgive as the Lord forgave you.’ Colossians 3:2


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