I wrote this at the end of December and shared it on Facebook. As I was recently feeling some pain, this article came up and I decided to share, in hopes that I can give someone else hope. (And it’s appropriate for the mudroom.)

The transformation that’s taken place since has been filled with major peace from our loving Father and community. Prayer is everything. And I send my prayers to all the parents and families who need peace in their home…and or whom need a home!

Selah

I like bliss. I love bliss. And the last couple of days I have felt the more painful side of single parenting. On other days it’s bliss. Much better than what it was before, for me.

I said yes to moving 8 hours north from my LA dreams on one hand to be closer to my dad. Studies show kids that see a healthy father figure at least once a week have a better chance. I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t like how that’s said, but it’s helped me make certain they see my dad each week.

When I say single parenting, just to be clear…I love being single. It is a gift for me. It’s more the parenting part, where it’s just me. I’m exhausted and was reminded by my hurting child last night of my many financial and career failures. “Why don’t you get a real job” “why are we poor” —I’ve learned to not see it that way, and be incredibly grateful for everything, and I can say and prove that this kind of outlook change has changed our lives for the better. We are truly blessed, and taken care of by our Father. And we go from glory to glory.

Sure I’ve struggled immensely with the feeling like a failure over many things, that didn’t turn out how I’d planned or wished and worked so hard for. But learning to truly follow where God leads me has changed our life forever. And I know He will make the way as He has and is doing now. “He’s got the whole world in his hands.” Saying yes to him, lifts us up into his greatest plan. Which is better than mine.

Learning to switch to how God sees me is critical in these moments. But the pain hit hard through the night and it’s taken me a day to get out of the funk. I’m so glad I put on my wall the positive words and starred at the one tonight that says you’re smart. Cause that’s not how I feel. But God is real, and His words lift us up, empower us, and encourage us that we can do this. Peace is here. Thank you Jesus.

Years ago I saw a dad taking pictures of his child through the window at the YMCA. I gazed and guessed there must have been some sort of court order. And then I heard; I am not a father through a looking glass window, as I was filled with emotion and tears. God is with me. He is my helper…parenting with me. And I admit though, on some days it is so hard.

The it takes a village is real. Prayers from my family and friends have been felt, and truly needed. Thank you. I believe prayers are one of the most powerful actions that truly changes things. Pray without ceasing is a good one!

My children, more so my older daughter has been experiencing a lot of anxiety and depression lately. Something that’s been a journey for me to somewhat overcome, and yet I have felt bubble up again on different levels lately…you’d think I’d know how to handle this having somewhat been through it with myself, and many many many family members. However it’s actually been really difficult for me. I see her shaking, and I start shaking.

Hallelujah she finally said yes to counseling, and hopefully our first appointment (that she stays at this time) will be in January. We moved to another town right before the pandemic. While raising a pre-teen, whom got the corona virus and was suddenly hit with fear. Fear of everything. Numerous hospital visits, with advice from every professional the same as mine. Note; I recall every doctor said what she’s been experiencing has been very common among teens lately since c19. So my prayers for every family out there that’s experienced any sort of anxiety or depression. Please reach out! Write it out. Something to keep going and keep the hope. Things will get better. “For everything there is a season under the sun.”

Since I have no idea when we will be aligned with our village, today that’s asking for your prayers again. (As well as yesterday, THANK YOU!) Today’s work has taken so long because of child surprises. Help me God be kind and steadfast. And enjoy the gift of playing, whats your favorite anything. All I’ve deep down wanted to say is sleep, and nothing. My favorite thing to do is nothing. Cause I’m tired. And I give it all to Jesus!!! And I need prayer. 😭 anyone else? (But really a day to stare at the birds sounds like a dream for me) am I old. 😂😂😂

i’m sooo thankful to have my parents nearby! I haven’t been to therapy in about 2 weeks. My therapist would say something powerful and affirm me. I love how she said we have different seasons in life, and that includes the people that are in the specific seasons. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes less. So, that’s my take on it. It really has helped me. God knew this season would be here and the people who’d be in it. And I thank him for it. Although I too miss LA. And I really miss church. I can not wait for church to start again. That worship!!!

God bless you all with peace overflowing! Amen. I receive that too. Thank you Jesus for giving us all your peace that passes understanding, wisdom, shalom, purification, and sweet destiny dreams.

“In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 4:8

Somedays of Solo Parenting

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