Oranglefofflesteez +Zig Zag Mi.

Hi. This is of the past now. Written 12/31/2020 last day of that interesting…surprising painful and beautiful year.

So I realize again I’ve been walking through the map, meeting old shame at the intersections of mess ups and smelly rest stops.

When things aren’t perfect, it’s been my habit I haven’t quite unlearned yet, to carry it all on my shoulders or in my front, like a giant orange hairy monster. (I had a series of dreams) I’ll perhaps explain one day. Point is, shame…is a monster. Am I a monster. No, but I feel so absolutely ridiculous, and like the worlds gonna end if things aren’t in perfect lines, when the responsibilities in my hands…I don’t believe I take it out on other people but I do take it out on myself. Immensely. My mom prays a lot for me, as well as my aunt, Grandma, cousin, and sister, even friends and family online…thank God, and thank you.My children see me on the floor. I know the trust is that it’s in God’s hands. That’s the lesson. To co-create, and really allow him to carry it.

Funny thing is I’ve already gone through Y E A R S of healing to remove performance mentality in all my art. Scribbling on purpose for years, dancing bad on purpose for years so much so that it’s my favorite way to dance. Not everyone understands that one. And that’s ok. I don’t care, it feels so good. I encourage youth, and actually all of us, if you’re gonna mess up, do it on purpose, and do it in your art. Yes that includes music.

So the hairy orange thing. Is anyone else in my life making me feel this way today. No actually. “We wrestle not against flesh and blood.” Although isn’t everyone an agent of some sort? Fortunately I am mostly around older and or wiser, grace carrying agents. Or innocent young brilliant children whom also shape me.

After today’s episode, I remember and understand that sometimes in houses there’s leaks. And it’s a good thing I saw it right away. But first, I fell to the floor crying out to God for mercy and grace, told one of my teachers, and asked my mom to pray. Thank you Jesus. 😂

So apparently it comes from childhood. How do I shake it all off—OPE That’s it. Shake it off. My therapist mentioned asking the Holy Spirit next time what that feeling is, and He’ll teach me what to do. Right there I was processing a recent instance where I was in a new town, and asked to be prayed for in an impromptu large prayer circle at a restaurant’s patio. I felt a physical unseen giant in front of me. And I could barely hear what she was praying for…hoping no else noticed me experiencing this weird thing. However I knew the prayer itself was something divine, as the Holy Spirit shared before there was a divine appointment—but I felt something weird and fuzzy. And I myself, felt wrong, and messed up again. Did the enemy hijack it? Not entirely…we still received the prayer. And good changes happened after that as well as inspiration.
I also, got to remember and ponder body awareness.

So after therapy, I contemplated and knew I had to pray, and read, and pray, and read, and walk to the water.

But my moment came again today, and I was absolutely beyond dreading this excruciating painful moment until the moment was over. And everything was all good. I then realized, it was shame. I talked with Orangelfofflesteez too much today. Rise above Bethany, and rise above to all! Cheers. Rising above is a true power.

So good bye shame, you can stay in 2020. Although now that I’ve given it a name, it’s kinda making me laugh. Maybe that’s the secret? Give em all names. And next time I’ll try a stare down. Of course I am believing he or her is staying in 2020–And PING to the cross! although truth be told. I’ve said good bye to shame many times before. Remembering that we spiral up,(thanks to Sy Rogers for teaching what His therapist taught him)

Also, lately I’ve recognized that people have been saying to me stop worrying. Here’s what I’m going through. How? I’ve tried stopping. I worship Jesus. I read, I worship, I cry. I write. I rest. I dance. I punch the air. And worry says hello again when I’ve got 101 things to do that I’ve never done before…and suddenly in the moments imbetween every whole number, surprises want my autograph.

Truth be told, it feels absolutely crazy to try to stop worry. Bam smack, shut up poopy butt. Sorry for that graphic, figured I share for anyone else whom laughs at dogs pooping like me. I forgot what I was gonna say. 😂 something. Oh yeah, there’s probably purpose in it. Something to learn. It’s perhaps ok to not be ok. Cause we can’t always swat it out with the flies. Though perhaps we can direct it. Yes. Yes. That sounds delightful. Do our emotions belong in a pocket? Only if in that pocket is a book or your brilliant thoughts. Any experiences on what to do with worry in a healthy way let me know! For now I’m thinking of a name. Werschtonkertoonk? Pong to the ends of the earth!!!

I was in an unhealthy tricky relationship for around 9 years, and grew up in a loving but disfunctional family with not much order but pizza on Friday nights (so thankful there was at least love, which is more important than order if we’re gonna scale things.) I don’t own a scale on purpose, but knowing that has helped me process things and give me much gratefulness. It helps me know when to stop with order, and just do love. What a balancing act life is. I think I’m made for the circus…in the sense to walk diagonally sometimes, and look at life from laying down on other days. But no more in the cage. I’m a free flying elephant. Still learning to fly. And I’ll fall down sometimes, but with God, get back up again. It’s perhaps a time to watch Dumbo.

Declaring with our words is so powerful. I pray Heaven on Earth for everyone in 2021 and all that’s to come. Blessings. And Heaven on Earth. Will it be perfect? I think I’ll share my recent note I wrote about perfect soon. Perfect to me, is an abusive icy relationship. Imperfect is the real deal. Hallelujah, we are already made perfect in His image. And we are loved with flaws, skin spots, blushed faced and all. God made us beautiful, and perfectly imperfect so He can get the glory for all that is good. Because truth is I would not be where I am, starring at the water everyday and night (a dream come true) if it weren’t for the God who opened the door for imperfect me…He’s probably laughing at the beginning of all my training.

Lord thank you for sending us to our callings. For aligning us with our peeps. For generosity, thankfulness, love, and truth to abound. Oh how we love you. And we fix our eyes on the King, our Savior, whom is perfect peace, and perfect grace, and perfect mercy. It’s all from Him. Lean into the Lord. And let him hold you through it all, including your wildest dreams.

Love love love to you all. Extra grace. Extra mercy. Extra favor. And some funny joy!

And cheers,
From Bethany Scheer

(the real Beatriz Cloud) cloud pointer!

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You are not forgotten.

Breathe…God is with you.

…For God is not impressed by the reputations of men. Galations 2:6

He’s interested in you, and in your boat, ready to dance with you.

And aren’t we all equal. Aren’t we all human. Aren’t we all creatures. Aren’t we all breathing. Aren’t we all wonders. Aren’t we all loved. Aren’t we all made to EXIST! Aren’t we all brilliant beings! Aren’t we all sons and daughters of the most High God!…the question is, do we even know what that is. If we are Heirs, we know we are loved. That’s the amazing thing about God, as by us believing, we begin receiving His love and His power as His sons and daughters.

Perhaps we never felt equal. Perhaps we were always shut up. Perhaps we were abused. Perhaps the unthinkable. Perhaps we want to hide. Perhaps we were once something, and now another…But aren’t we all human?

“For God is no respecters of persons.” Acts 10:34 God is good!

God created us equal. How he did it is a whole nother study. But He created us all with purpose. Some got it right, some didn’t, some failed, and failed, and failed again, but kept going. God loves us the same. What we do, and how we do or don’t do it, does not change his love for us . Whether we’re famous, or on the streets, he loves us unconditionally. And His love never changes.

Whether I do it perfectly or mess up, His love never changes. Whether I have noble character, or lousy, He still loves me. Does this give a free ride to anything. Well, not necessarily free. Free to choose yes. But there are consequences, and there are rewards.

Do I do it all for the reward? Well, after some not fun times, I began to make some changes…with the power of God and surrounding myself with healthier wise influence. And soon, or eventually I began to see and feel the rewards. But I know today, he loves me the same. The rewards took a long time to get here, but he loved me the whole time. If I could go back, I would just sit in His love. Not that I didn’t, but consciously purposefully sit there, and listen to how He loves me, acknowledging Jesus in the boat.

Today’s a new day, and I am blessed to receive this info, and it is my duty as a Christian and my humanity, to pass it along.

He doesn’t love them over there more because of the list they accomplished. He loves you, right where you are. Unconditionally. Take the leap off the comparison train, cause God don’t play that way. And feel His peace and unconditional love and your brilliant journey called life…that has your name already written on it.

I am thankful God placed you on my path! God bless you and your family and friends abundantly!

Health, wholeness, love and creativity! And Happy Thanksgiving!

Beatriz

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Life is Therapy

I don’t know where I’d be without my therapist. Ha well, God, dance, my children, my parents, chocolate, guacamole, and therapy. Because of God and free therapy in the big city of Los Angeles, I got out of an unhealthy scenario, and learned incredible wisdom skills for life. Also I got free haircuts, backpacks for my daughters filled with school supplies, Holiday Presents, and so much more. I sat back, and was filled with so much gold, love, and wisdom, while my life went through challenging transitions. I learned to keep the hope when struggling through tough circumstances. I met many others navigating a similarity in that challenge, yet with all complete different stories. We were all there for hope, wisdom, and guidance.

Into new chapter…Moving up North, and almost straight into quarentine, I, like many felt like ahhhhh. I know God is with me, but to have someone hear you, and root you on, and help you process and be your best you, and or relax a bit. 😂 It changed everything. I went from feeling all the traumas again, while navigating some spring of 2020 things—not knowing someone I could fully trust to shed the light I needed, to feeling heard…and it absolutely changed everything.

Sometimes being heard is all people need. Indeed believers have the Holy Spirit helping us every step of the way, which is a listening skill to sharpen. But still, a well meaning therapist can be a real good thing. And a great deal to our sharpening.

One of the first few appointments she asked me, would you be interested in Dance therapy!💥 Now that, I know for a fact, God aligned our path. And wherever I go, whether it’s to acting, or to therapy, church, or the grocery store, dance is a part of it. That’s not coincidence. But purpose. I personally don’t believe in coincindance. It’s an awkward cop out to escape the truth. That’s my opinion…from experience. Although sidenote, also learning to not overthink things is something I still am in process of.

But purpose. All the signs. What is God saying about this? Why am I here? Why did I have that dream? Why nearly everywhere I go is dance, and other particularities shared with people? Partly my filter I’ve recently learned from Kris Vallatton. And I believe in this case since it’s good, it’s God’s alignment, and the presence of Jesus. He knows my story. And He knows yours. There’s probably more semantics for it, but the power of Jesus is real and anymore I’m realizing, the bigger I make him, and the more I press in, the more blessed and rested I feel. The more I can hear the Holy Spirit’s voice for everything; peace, direction, love, etc. And suddenly there’s this brilliant musical alignment happening in my life, like a Hightower of cd’s perfectly stacked. And I didn’t do the striving type organizing of putting something back together, that kept falling apart. But I did lean in, and or show up, and say yes. And so I share this now. Lean into God. Sit on His lap, and ask him all the questions. What was the purpose of that God? And who am I in this Lord? Oh how he delights in all of His sons and daughters.

He knows us very quite possibly better than we do ourselves. Let him in. And don’t be afraid to find an amazing therapist if that’s a possibility. At the same time pray about who you see. It wouldn’t be bad to know their morals and what they stand for. I’ve worked with students who’s therapists have encouraged them to do immoral things that would cause division and hurt their own soul, and many others. I won’t go into the details here. I just encourage you to align yourself with peace. Always pray, and know that God gave you an amazing brain and clean vessel that speaks.

I know many people can not afford therapy. I was not able to afford therapy until I moved up North, single momming it with medical. So I’m utilizing it as much as I possibly can. If you’re not able to afford therapy, or you know people who can’t, find someone you can trust to speak up with, as well as really listen to others. Listening changes things. Being heard changes things. There are lots of support groups and communities out there that can be life changing for the better. I was in free group therapy for years in LA, and I was in a church small group for girls overcoming eating disorders in my early twenties. That was slightly awkward for me because I didn’t want to talk about it at that time, but I still felt loved, empowered, and made friends who understood. Seek and find a healing community with peace and truth, and absolutely no shame. Everyone needs to be heard and encouraged to live their best life out of pure love and authenticity.

Listen to your particular instruments, the ones that lead to peace. And look at life, like it’s therapy.

Truly I say to you, may God bless you right where you’re at, and into His best for you. May you be filled with light, and surrounded by lights to refresh your soul.

With love, Beatriz

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7 ESV

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.

1 John 4:16-17 ESV

Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors. For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord,

Prov 8:33-35

In that day this song will be sung in the land of Judah: “We have a strong city; he sets up salvation as walls and bulwarks. Open the gates, that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in. You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:1-3

P.S.

He’s aligning the music of our hearts! ❤️

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