Life is Therapy

I don’t know where I’d be without my therapist. Ha well, God, dance, my children, my parents, chocolate, guacamole, and therapy. Because of God and free therapy in the big city of Los Angeles, I got out of an unhealthy scenario, and learned incredible wisdom skills for life. Also I got free haircuts, backpacks for my daughters filled with school supplies, Holiday Presents, and so much more. I sat back, and was filled with so much gold, love, and wisdom, while my life went through challenging transitions. I learned to keep the hope when struggling through tough circumstances. I met many others navigating a similarity in that challenge, yet with all complete different stories. We were all there for hope, wisdom, and guidance.

Into new chapter…Moving up North, and almost straight into quarentine, I, like many felt like ahhhhh. I know God is with me, but to have someone hear you, and root you on, and help you process and be your best you, and or relax a bit. 😂 It changed everything. I went from feeling all the traumas again, while navigating some spring of 2020 things—not knowing someone I could fully trust to shed the light I needed, to feeling heard…and it absolutely changed everything.

Sometimes being heard is all people need. Indeed believers have the Holy Spirit helping us every step of the way, which is a listening skill to sharpen. But still, a well meaning therapist can be a real good thing. And a great deal to our sharpening.

One of the first few appointments she asked me, would you be interested in Dance therapy!💥 Now that, I know for a fact, God aligned our path. And wherever I go, whether it’s to acting, or to therapy, church, or the grocery store, dance is a part of it. That’s not coincidence. But purpose. I personally don’t believe in coincindance. It’s an awkward cop out to escape the truth. That’s my opinion…from experience. Although sidenote, also learning to not overthink things is something I still am in process of.

But purpose. All the signs. What is God saying about this? Why am I here? Why did I have that dream? Why nearly everywhere I go is dance, and other particularities shared with people? Partly my filter I’ve recently learned from Kris Vallatton. And I believe in this case since it’s good, it’s God’s alignment, and the presence of Jesus. He knows my story. And He knows yours. There’s probably more semantics for it, but the power of Jesus is real and anymore I’m realizing, the bigger I make him, and the more I press in, the more blessed and rested I feel. The more I can hear the Holy Spirit’s voice for everything; peace, direction, love, etc. And suddenly there’s this brilliant musical alignment happening in my life, like a Hightower of cd’s perfectly stacked. And I didn’t do the striving type organizing of putting something back together, that kept falling apart. But I did lean in, and or show up, and say yes. And so I share this now. Lean into God. Sit on His lap, and ask him all the questions. What was the purpose of that God? And who am I in this Lord? Oh how he delights in all of His sons and daughters.

He knows us very quite possibly better than we do ourselves. Let him in. And don’t be afraid to find an amazing therapist if that’s a possibility. At the same time pray about who you see. It wouldn’t be bad to know their morals and what they stand for. I’ve worked with students who’s therapists have encouraged them to do immoral things that would cause division and hurt their own soul, and many others. I won’t go into the details here. I just encourage you to align yourself with peace. Always pray, and know that God gave you an amazing brain and clean vessel that speaks.

I know many people can not afford therapy. I was not able to afford therapy until I moved up North, single momming it with medical. So I’m utilizing it as much as I possibly can. If you’re not able to afford therapy, or you know people who can’t, find someone you can trust to speak up with, as well as really listen to others. Listening changes things. Being heard changes things. There are lots of support groups and communities out there that can be life changing for the better. I was in free group therapy for years in LA, and I was in a church small group for girls overcoming eating disorders in my early twenties. That was slightly awkward for me because I didn’t want to talk about it at that time, but I still felt loved, empowered, and made friends who understood. Seek and find a healing community with peace and truth, and absolutely no shame. Everyone needs to be heard and encouraged to live their best life out of pure love and authenticity.

Listen to your particular instruments, the ones that lead to peace. And look at life, like it’s therapy.

Truly I say to you, may God bless you right where you’re at, and into His best for you. May you be filled with light, and surrounded by lights to refresh your soul.

With love, Beatriz

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:7 ESV

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. 17 By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.

1 John 4:16-17 ESV

Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors. For whoever finds me finds life and obtains favor from the Lord,

Prov 8:33-35

In that day this song will be sung in the land of Judah: “We have a strong city; he sets up salvation as walls and bulwarks. Open the gates, that the righteous nation that keeps faith may enter in. You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.

Isaiah 26:1-3


He’s aligning the music of our hearts! ❤️


Favor of a Rose

It is what it is. The struggle, the friction, it’s all part of it. The sinking to the ground is part of it. The rose hips being eaten is part of the process, that sometimes when pooped out by animals, produces more roses. In Christianity, we die to ourselves. The flesh nailed to the cross, so we can live. There’s so much to that I don’t know where to begin, but to let that truth sink in. Every time pain arises, to not ignore it, but go deeper into the cross to find it’s purpose. Life.

I had a vision of the inside of the rose. Knowing itself. It’s a part of God. It’s being covered for seasons, and begins to open up, changing the atmosphere with its scents attracting species to itself, ultimately dying to itself, and reproducing once again. Living long, it doesn’t strive. It simply is what it is, and does the job God created it to do.

Can I be more like a rose, fully accepting myself in all the processes, that are sometimes painful? I imagine the inside of the Rose before it grows, completely wrapped and protected. What an intimate space, an intimate place, and God knew she’d be there all along in this point of time. Connected. Fully connected to family, and continually producing throughout her life, and forever.

Is it possible to see the entire cycle of the flower as beauty. And our hopefully upward cycles, or unraveling as beauty? How could that be possible with the excruciating pain of the painful parts. The truth is surrendering ourselves to God and all our everything happens by encounters, and that is where His light carries us through ceilings, on a stretcher, and back to alignment and purpose. Not rushing processes. And at some point we are ready to create with creation, to ultimately bring life for others to receive healing. Usually it’s something we’ve walked through. We are passing on the baton for others to run.

I’ve put aside quite a bit of things in my life. Especially this past season of moving from LA to a tiny mountain town in the North. In a way I suppose it felt like so much had died. So many dreams I put aside. And yet, our funny God brings certain aspects back in a season I could have never imagined. What is the deal with that. Purpose. I believe there are no coincindances.

My coworker T calls it synchronicity. I call it alignment. I recall we both agree on serendipity, (I simply like the word and the film) and it’s fun. —it seems to come when our mind is in some focused place. So the surprise could take some processing like therapy and writing it out, whatever your forms of therapy are that help your mind work through our ever changing world and surprises. To ultimately continue on your journey and purpose. Be the light you were created to be.

Alright, so what I really purposed to write here was talking about Favor. One of the things I previously mentioned talking about. It’s something I’ve never quite felt comfortable talking about publicly, but am going to do it, for the benefit of others. Clue factor, It starts with the mindset.

I recently started supernatural ministry school, and in the first week we talked about favor. Something like, how favor is in our life, and how we use it to help others. I don’t know who wrote the questions, but credit to this brilliant school in Redding! (And the empowering thought is biblical)

The thought alone lifted me up, and still is continuing to do so. Despite watching the news, the smoky skies, despite tackling things I hadn’t planned, and currently quarantined again.

At first I needed to really seek to find favor, beyond the obvious ones of being in a safe place, having yummy food, and a family that loves me despite the differences and barriers that we’ve all crossed.

And suddenly it clicked, and I began to see everything as favor. When I’m struggling, the fact that God would come in and show me a dream to give me hope, or how about the Holy Spirit chills!!! He’s always with us. The fact that someone lovely I’m connected to would suddenly give me $50 to have fun with my children, or $75 right when my account was negative a few weeks ago. The fact that the bank reversed the $35 fee. And God has continued to rain in the midst of it all, taking good care of us, I almost feel like I’m in heaven. 

The fact that I’ve lived through a lot of hard things that were not fun, and awful, and I wouldn’t suggest, but the fact that God opened my eyes and has been healing me ever since is for a greater purpose to release. And this goes for you too if that speaks to you! Our hearts opened, and recoginozing the season we are in is favor. 

For a long time I have had difficulty sharing some of the incredible things God has done in my life, except in person for a hopeful purpose. Becoming free is favor. And I had to share this mindset that is truly raising me up. And it’s not for me alone. To understand the power of giving is favor. As well as fully receiving. 

God has and is making the way for me to be in school, by the generous people he has blessed me with to meet. They are not only generous in this way, but their whole lives are generous, and therefore blessed. To have my eyes opened to this whole picture, is pulling me up. Thank you my friends.

Until around mid August, I was in a hole. I had nothing to give but ears. To keep my heart and mind in the right place, I had to continually seek God and press in. Lots and lots of tears were involved. And then suddenly part of my tax refund was released, and I tithed. I watched the Georgian and Coco Banov crew speak about generosity in their kick off sessions in the joy portal, and I decided as soon as I can give extra I will. So I decided after each check and tithing, I’d give additionally to whom God highlighted. And immediately I began walking into work of housekeeping, getting anywhere from $20 -$40 tips, what seemed like every other day, or even every day. My boss noted it, cause every time I came to work, we all got tipped that amount. I mentioned that I’ve started giving more. Which he is an incredibly generous man. And he had noted through the conversation, it’s important also not to give to receive, or to expect anything back. This is very important to know and understand. And I completely agree. We give to bless someone as a human being, and to make sure they know it’s theirs for no cost. And if possible, one day, begin to pay it forward. Find a way to somehow pay it forward! Don’t hold it all in for yourselves. So I’m doing this, and it is paying off. And I wanted to write about it.

Get out of the hole by your gratitude. Sometimes you have to search for it…it is daily a practice. And suddenly one day, you will be moving on up with that soft gracious heart! We don’t know the when, but we must fully believe it. You are more precious then the flower. Keep on rising up!!! Know that you are precious every step of the way. And the tears are just as important and vital for how tall you will be, like a giant tree. Those roots go real deep. There is purpose in the tears.

Practice gratitude, and find favor in your life. Note how it is affecting those around you. Think of this, and watch it grow. Watch the good grow, watch heaven on earth grow. To have our eyes opened, and to take good actions, is a whole nother level of favor that can move mountains for those we are connected to. Everything is for purpose, awareness of your body, the atmosphere, and others, are all messages from God for a purpose. And to hear Him and to respond, can multiply favor for incredible purposes. 

Being who we were created to be, is favor. I’m on a healing path of my heart understanding the belief my mind knows. I am who God says I am. God is healing and filling in the gap that my heart still wonders, why the pain I’ve been processing. And finding purpose through it. After all, life is good. It indeed is getting better. But my heart still feels it. And realizing through the whole process, I am a queen. When I had nothing, nothing to give, and when I was at my lowest, I was just as precious. I didn’t see it then, I was clouded in lies. But thank God His truth is winning me over. And I can say, finding Him in it all is worth it. You have to believe the best about you. And seek God about the rest. 

It’s time to arise and become our personal favorite flower we have secretly deeply always longed to be. Which remember, the whole process matters. The whole creation is crying out for it. For you, for everybody. Be real. Find beauty in the process, and this kinda favor is ever so freeing. 

Green light, go you.

Love and healing flowers, 

Beatriz Cloud

ALL CREATION is yearning for the sons and daughters of God to be revealed. Note, Romans 8.


Goodbye bitterness.

Hi. I hope you guys are well and feeling loved. Which possibly at times requires a deeper seeking, to find the love of God that is already there. At times, when things are possibly muddy, we search. For God. While he is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, the world is changing. And God is is the ultimate, highest, deepest, loveliest, fullest, authentic creative.

Lately much has shifted in my heart, by the grace and work of God, and a facebook group I’m following, called the Joy Portal! Don’t underestimate the power of social media, the truth, and higher council!

I feel like I’ve been through quite a windy road trip while writing this. So buckle up, and have your coffee too. We are crossing over. But first we must shake some things off.

Last post I mentioned going into more depth on a lesson I had in Bitterness. Yay.

What I’m pondering now is maybe, just maybe next post I’ll talk about favor, and being blessed financially, having a successful business, and perhaps it’ll come true…I do believe in the power of our words. Now don’t get me wrong, we are blessed. Despite all the battles faced, there’s been huge blessings and doors that have began to open—doors only God could open. Receive that in your heart if desired. Faith is faith!!!

And sometimes we fill the inbetweens with every emoji under the sun.

Why not dive deep into process, to truly overcome whatever it is that needs overcoming…or to unravel whatever needs to unravel. Covering emotions under the rug eventually turns into dust bunnies or errupts. So God help us release in assertive ways, or in a dance, whatever pure way it calls for.

Going higher, means going deeper underground—and that is where gold is found. What I am still learning is that faith, following visions, planting and watering seeds gives hope for the future. Seeds will grow. What seeds are we planting.

Part of my purpose of sharing is to bring light, and to pour out the inner gold that I have sweated, cried, prayed, and rested to find. That you may have freedom in such a way too, if desired. Or to simply be freed up to open up, and not hold it all in. Like releasing an untied balloon, and the sheer joy that can bring.

So anyway, some weeks ago, God had given me a story only he could write— or the enemy did, but God allowed it. It was a test I didn’t sign up for. And since then, a whole nother form of bitterness came in. Like the sly fox, that sped toward my car, on my way to Grandma’s house. I feel I failed that one. But seriously, shame gone.

We fail up, learn the lesson, and move on. I’m hyper aware of this lately, because it’s something I am overcoming again. Although this time, I can feel the shame come on so strong that I immediately recognize it. And I can’t hold it. A dance, or some tearing up some paper (and recycling it) or shouting praises are great remedies. We all need natural remedies for combat. Might as well have fun with it. It’s for freedom. But don’t forget to cry.

Life reminds me so much of the cartoon Adventure Time. We are constantly taking tests, to arise to the next level.

One fine afternoon I took my car out to activate the new insurance external device. As I reversed back in my parents long driveway, I found myself in a Spirit lead activation to remove the pain of the past. I shouted my good byes, and had a blast!!! Switched gears and drove forward. I encourage such a spiritual activation. And Prophetic declarations that you can get your groove on with. With God included. Sure you can shout at him, just absolutely know how much He loves you, and wants to have all the conversations with you.

But also know that, there’s an enemy.

So nearly within an hour of getting home, one of my best friends from a past training school calls. I am sooooo excited!

And I hear her, and I agree, and I am fullhearted in, to support her. Yeah, that teacher was not a good one. Thank God we all got out.


I’m not gonna name names or specifics here. I was about to do a write up when…Suddenly I couldn’t sleep the next three nights in a row. And the morning that I was going to press send, as I was meditating on scripture preparing my heart, the pages turned on their own and my eyes went straight to this part.

You see, the weeks leading up to this point, I had been asking God, what’s going on, why has gunkiness been happening. I’ve been following His path to my knowledge and planting seeds, and I could not understand the hard times, again. Challenges aside from the worlds latest challenges. The last many years were incredibly challenging for me…haven’t I graduated I thought! (I understand life is not always easy—especially lately for many, but I just was truly over it, and I’ve wondered, is there something I could do differently, because I’ve seen better, and I am believing for that.)

We are in a turning point, world changing time now. And I live here. We all live here now. And we are also moving into the future. So wave that light and the old is gone!

I can say now, I’m grateful for the challenges because they have ultimately changed me for the better. But, it never hurts to ask God questions.

And thus he taught me a secret about bitterness. Within the same week I had also just listened to a message from Kris Valotton, where the biggest thing I received from this message, was that when we let bitterness build, the enemy has an invitation. Which is what the message meant to me in the image above. It’s all written. And I’m gonna say it in love—‘THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.’ because that line has been going off in my ears lately.

So God answered my why. And I knew removing bitterness was the answer, because prior to it, I was shaken up to the point of not sleeping. I had began experiencing more financial challenges, and an injury that put me on the bed for nearly two weeks. Nevertheless I continued planting seeds. God knows the day my financial side of things will change for the better. With God’s promises and my latest dreams, I know it will change for the better.

We must believe it, which perhaps could take some time of unraveling old belief systems of doubt, shame, poverty mindsets, boxed mindsets, and etc. But don’t expect everyone else to be on the same page. I was processing a door that had recently closed, with the inner questions of how is this gonna work out, and what am I going to do…and the Holy Spirit spoke these words to me:

“Sometimes you have no other choice but to believe you can.”

So let’s go with the light. And wave good bye to carrying the weight of the past, or of others!!! That’s what Christ died for. Give it to him, and go as deep as needed to not carry shame. This is a breakthrough point for me. And I bless whomever needs that breakthrough with freedom!!!!! Everything in me that doesn’t bring life can die. All the shame, and pain, the old, gone. And true flowers of Christ’s power may rise. Whenever something painful I’ve experienced comes to mind, I’m seeing a picture of it dying in me and out of me, completely dissolving, and then powerful new fresh life grows through me. Listen to graves into gardens

Or whatever worship song is gonna hit home, because worshipping God aligns us to visions and solutions. And then we are filled with light and love.

I find that the most powerful people live by love and actions, not just words. Perhaps this takes practice for us all in some way, even if it’s loving others who don’t listen, who’ve perhaps offended us many times, who seem to not come from the same place. Bless your enemies have been singing in my ears. I suppose to keep the love, don’t let it sit, release it and find the gold buried beneath! And still, boundaries. Like we are at life school, and we still gotta sharpen our pencil for great purposes.

Anyway, so much had stopped working, including my computer…but there’s still hope. While I wanted to put much more up in commerce shops, and share here the signs we made, that I spoke of in the last post…I’ve had to let it go. Blow up the balloon, and release.

I had experienced so many triggers in the past month, perhaps because of the state of the world. I’ve also really been blessed to have trauma healing, and therapy the last four years. But many triggers had resurfaced. And since I now know this truth, it makes sense why such challenges would come on so strong. It’s like a sling shot, and boom. Repeat. We hit the target, and pull back again. Hit or miss the target, and pull back. Hit the target, and so on, as our hearts, minds, and souls are being aligned with an army. Whose army are we in.

I didn’t pull the trigger on writing a review about the teach. I called my dear friend with a heart for justice, and I prayed for her and the whole situation personally, and surrendered it all to God, with a full knowing that He fights our battles.

For a moment I thought I’d might lose my friends involved, but my good friend was supportive and reassured me she still loved me reguardless. Unconditional love. Wow, now that is refreshing.

Be refreshed, and let God fight the battle. We do our part, and he fights the battle. We don’t always know the when we’ll get an answer or what it will be. But trust and faith in God, and praying, is the path to real gold. Discernment will help us decide on what the action to take is. Sometimes it is in the front lines. And sometimes it’s in the imbetweens. Often I find the answer through the gift of rest. And always, the thankfulness factor plays a huge role in our lives and those around us.

It’s not what we have, it’s who we have around us. If you have no one, and or if there’s been friction, there are some phenomenal online leaders out there, such as the Joy Portal crew from Global Celebration! They are imparting so much community and joy, I feel more hope then I have throughout the whole pandemic! And let’s say it, pandemic be gone!!!!!!! God is bigger than it all. God is a compassionate God. We get to follow.

Love. It is a love that only God can fill. I thank God for highlighting the narrow and yet wide, in awe and wonder path for us all. And for teaching us how we don’t want to be, which teaches us how to be, if we let it.

And can we just laugh the crap out. Oops, I just wrote that.

Blessings to you on your journey, I am an artist that’s experienced a lot of emotions lately, and I can’t imagine what you have gone through. Know that you are the only you, that it’s ok to be different, and that God loves you unconditionally, and that He will highlight the path that will bring you to a place of belonging. Because you belong. You belong. You belong. And quite possibly maybe, you are the one to pave the way. Maybe, quite possibly it’s starts with you! Integrity, wisdom, and purity are in true belonging. Wouldn’t you agree that the world needs to change. Now is the time we make a better world for our children and all the generations to come. It starts with ourselves. No matter our circumstances. Plant the seeds, and they will grow. Follow the path beside still waters no matter how the circumstance of the waters may be.

Much love on your journey! And extra blessings and peace for all who are transitioning back into school! Talk about a time to discern. Follow the path of peace, it may not be easy, but if there’s peace, than it’s golden. Blessings to you all, the parents, caregivers, teachers, and school people.

With Love,

B e t h a n y

‘We wrestle not against flesh and blood!’ Good reminder that can help so much with discernment, and getting rid of bitterness. Ephesians 6:12

‘Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. … Forgive as the Lord forgave you.’ Colossians 3:2