Sometimes you gotta look at the good and be glad you did it. But first, the garbage stinks and needs to get out. And sometimes might I suggest, it’s at the same time.
I’ve killed 2 spiders since moving in. Such big ones, note of them has made it here. Mr. brown recluse. And Mrs. either jumping spider, or zebra spider. Gag. I can’t bare to research more to find out what it really was. I grabbed a brand new pack of rainbow chalk, and hopefully smashed it. OUT OF SITE.
Now what’s being filled into my site, after scissoring away all the webs around me, is a sign that says, “Jesus loves you always.” I finally put it right in the middle of my messy kitchen so I can be reminded when I see the garbage around.
Garbage speaks to me. Of course I prefer it clean. But not when it comes with a package of unconditional love. So healing, I’m in process. Anyone else?
The positives are, Jesus loves us always. And I am brave. I actually killed 2 big spiders. I actually started my own camp fire 2 years ago. The best burgers I have ever had were birthed from that. I couldn’t have done it without all the kids delightfully picking up the kindling. Right then and there, I realized where Kindle Fire got its name.
I also jumped off a high rock. That was never on my bucket list, however when my 12 year old said she wouldn’t do it without me, I jumped in. There, I did it!
I got divorced. Now, I didn’t get married to get a divorce. We just didn’t have the raising children conversation, nor the what a marriage looks like, and so much more that should have been talked about. I’m not gonna shame myself. It was painful. Heartbreaking. And I am still going through a healing process from losing myself, to parenting without a father in the home. Except God is always with us. And he gives extra light where there’s been extra pain.
We also got a dog. How precious. We moved, and I’ve been somewhat desperate to find a job. I don’t remember the last time I went on so many meetings. Pounds I’ve probably lost from all the nerves. I know God has it. I put all my trust in him, and I surrender all again. Prayers and declares, tears, and chocolate have filled my home lately.
When I woke up days ago, after feeling so uncomfortably desperate, I had a vision of scissors cutting my new sign that I was blessed with. Jesus loves you always, was split in half. What in my heart has a hole that needs to be filled back up by God, and God alone!!!
Rest was encouraged, 3 times, by 3 powerful people I know to trust. So I finally shut it down yesterday and today. And I wanna say I feel great, but I still feel pain. I had amazing tears. And was put on disaster relief with my student loan, thank God. I got a lot done at home. But there’s something inside I am pondering, that I suppose the only thing I can do at this point, is say good night. Sweet dreams. And God is always good. And I share in hopes to somehow encourage and acknowledge, you are brave! Ask God to show you where you are, or where you have been brave. Do know that you are loved no matter what.
We are blessed. And there is absolutely nothing like knowing King Jesus. Taste and See that the Lord is good. Let him be your other half that makes you whole, because Jesus, LOVES YOU ALWAYS! Even through whatever mess. He loves you always.